Marriage & Friends

Published January 1, 2012 by Sevgi D.S.

I met this cute looking, sweet talking guy on the first week of university and dated him throughout it. And some more. It should have been over latest on the 4th year but no, I was insecure inside and he made me feel insecure on the outside so I went as far as getting engaged. Then I managed to get out of this relationship and found me a handsome, sexy co-worker for rebound. He was (not happily) married, it was to be over sooner or later but I must admit I really liked the way he treated me, as if I had ‘a fragile’ tag stuck on me. One day one of my close friends came to persuade me in traveling to another city for the weekend where she would meet his boyfriend and I would be left to be entertained by his friend. I declined. After trying for 3 more weeks, she succeeded after appearing on my doorstep with the bus tickets in her hand. She had been right after all, it was love at first sight.

His love was at ‘the second sight’ though, because I looked my worst when I had gone to stay at his house. See, my friend did not mention how good looking he was or how she thought we would suit each other, in order not to freak me out before we went there. So the first word that came out of my mouth was ‘Shit!’ as in ‘Shit he is good looking and I am standing here in my baggiest old jeans, with no make up and with swollen eyes tired from a sleepless night spent traveling on a bus’. We chatted and laughed throughout the weekend though. The next Saturday, I made my list of ‘things to do before I go’ carefully and accepting his invitation, went over more prepared. I found the list two years later, when I was moving out of my apartment (it was stuck in an empty smoke hole to prevent air coming in). It read something like this:

– Buy new pijamas.

– Break up with boyfriend.

– Leave cat at mother’s house

We dated for about two years, traveling to and fro before getting married. We had fun weekends hanging out with my friend and his boyfriend as two couples. Just around the time we got engaged, my friend broke up with his boyfriend. She was to go and meet his parents that weekend when she disappeared without saying anything to anyone.  She was suffering from ‘runaway bride syndrome’. She had left two fiances before so it wasn’t a shock to me. The shocking part was her avoiding me for 7 months after that, while hanging out with the people she met on that runaway weekend. She came to my wedding though. After that she married a guy a month after they met and the wedding was so spontaneous that I did not have a chance to attend.

I have always thought that maybe their coming together was on our part, they had their relationship just so that me and my husband could meet. She is very happily married now with a girl she gave birth just after one year of marriage. He, on the other hand is also married but to someone who is the exact opposite of my friend and someone with whom he will never have a chance of real love for it is not what his wife can deliver. But this is what men do, they run away towards mistakes while women run away towards their authentic selves.

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